The Charlie Sheen buzz seems to be dying down a bit. It’s been like watching a car accident- we all look, and then we turn away, disgusted with ourselves for looking in the first place. I’ve been able to turn away, but every now and then I’ve reflected on what he’s been saying. While it may seem obvious that he’s nuts, it’s his particular kind of nuts that interests me.
Take a look at how he describes himself:
- I am on a drug. It’s called Charlie Sheen.
- I have a different constitution. I have a different brain; I have a different heart; I got tiger blood, man.
- Dying’s for fools, dying’s for amateurs.
- I just didn’t believe I was like everybody else. I thought I was unique.
- I’ve got magic. I’ve got poetry in my fingertips. Most of the time – and this includes naps – I’m an F-18, bro.
- You can’t process me with a normal brain.
- If you borrowed my brain for five seconds, you’d be like, ‘Dude! Can’t handle it, unplug this bastard!’” It fires in a way that’s maybe not from, uh… this terrestrial realm.
- I expose people to magic. I expose them to something they’re never going to see in their otherwise boring lives. And I gave that to them.
I wonder where he got that from?
Well, not really. He got it from us, of course. He’s been treated like a superhuman most of his life. That’s how we treat our celebrities. They can have anything they want, whenever they want it. They don’t have to follow the rules because when they break them, we welcome them back with open arms as soon as their next hit. And we absolutely, positively throw ourselves at them. Tell me that you wouldn’t love to meet Charlie Sheen right now. Of course you would! Why? Because he’s famous. A celebrity. And all of us adore celebrities. The more I think about it, the less surprised I am at what Charlie Sheen has become and the more surprised I am that more celebrities aren’t the same way.
Once I realized this, I first thought that Charlie Sheen would someday be in for a giant shock. He’s going to die, just like you and just like me. I figured that would jolt him because, deep down, he knows he’s different from us. When he found out he wasn’t, that would shock him.