I’ve been having a very spiritual Christmas this year, so I thought I would share what’s been working.
1. Be unemployed. This may not work for everyone. However, there’s no denying that work gets in the way of Christmas. Ditch it if you can. If you can’t…
2. Drink single malt scotch. If you can’t avoid work, you may as well drink something good. Single malt scotch is the perfect choice. Not only does it have very few calories, but scotch glasses are so thick that I’m convinced that you actually lose weight drinking it. Plus it keeps you warm on a cold night.
3. Put a bullet through your “Elf on a Shelf.” Do you really need someone else messing up your house? Put this pesky elf down! Just don’t mix this with #2 above. That’s how accidents happen. And be sure to hide the body well.
4. Just buy them something already. Presents are not worth obsessing over. As long as it’s not crappy, it’ll be fine.
5. Send the kids somewhere. Anywhere. Few places on earth look more like Christmas than Siberia!
If you do these things, I promise that you will have your most spiritual Christmas ever.