The River closed last Sunday. It was our final worship. I spent six years there, and in the buildup to this past Sunday I’ve had a lot of things running through my mind. Right now those things are a jumbled mess. There was a lot to celebrate on Sunday. A lot of lives were changed for the better because of this ministry. That is awesome.
But if lives were changed, why did it close?
I mean, I always figured that if God was touching people in powerful ways in a church, that church would grow. We didn’t. We never grew, and I don’ t really know why. People were touched, lives were changed, but we never grew. I suspect that part of it is that we were just too small to start. I don’t think we were ever going to overcome that and reach a sustainable size. Maybe we were doomed from the start.
Now there’s a happy thought.
Still, growth was always on my mind. Every week, I worried about how many people were there. It’s nice to have that burden lifted. I spent six years worrying about how many butts were in those seats. I don’t have to worry about that in the coming months. I’m looking forward to that. It also sucks, though, because I’m going to miss the people, the individuals I came to love, and the awesome things God was doing in their lives. I’m going to miss that. I’m going to miss being in God’s presence with them. That sucks. But we had six good years together, and I am thankful for that.
So let’s see: there’s thankfulness, doom, confusion, awesomeness, worry, relief, joy, grief, suckiness, and that’s just in the ten minutes it took me to type this. What a mess.